


Collusion

by bananasandroses (achuislemochroi)



Series: Whofic [10]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 4X13 (Journey's End), A Badly-Needed Conversation, Alternative Universe (Canon Divergence), Angst, Choose Life, F/M, Fix-It, Tenth Doctor Era, The Metacrisis Doctor Tells It How It is, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-17
Updated: 2009-05-17
Packaged: 2018-08-08 23:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7778365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achuislemochroi/pseuds/bananasandroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You need the right information to make the right choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Collusion

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel, of sorts, to [_Choose Life_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7778206).

The duplicate Doctor saw his Time Lord self slip out of the TARDIS to say farewell to those of his companions who were leaving, and took the chance to start a conversation with Rose.

“He never told you, did he?”

“Tell me what?”

“That time he ‘fell’ down the Pit. He never told you what he said to Ida, did he?”

She looked at him, confused at his choice of topic and unsettled by the intensity of the gaze he had directed at her. It felt to her almost as if he were willing her to understand something. But what?

She shook her head at him.

“No. No, he didn’t. And all Ida would say to me was ‘he said your name’. When I tried to get her to tell me what she meant, she clammed up. Said something about it not being her place to say anything and that I should ask him myself. I _tried_ to, in the time we had left together before we were separated, but every time I did, he would change the subject. I gave up, in the end – it’s hard to keep on asking when you're always being stonewalled that way. But I’ve never stopped wondering.”

“I could tell you. In fact, I probably _should_. You need all the information you can get, it’s not fair to you otherwise.”

“‘Not fair’? I don’t understand.”

“I don’t suppose you would. No, Rose,” for Rose’s opinion of that statement was written all over her face, “I don’t mean it like _that_.”

“What _did_ you mean, then?” Rose’s tone was mutinous and the duplicate Doctor knew from his memories that _that_ probably meant trouble.

“Nothing uncomplimentary, I promise.” His tone was conciliatory, and Rose – who had never been able to stay angry with him for very long – slowly lost the sulky look from her face.

“So I should hope.”

“Anyway,” he said, wanting to get this part of the conversation over with as quickly as he could, “do you want me to tell you?”

“Why are you so interested in my knowing what the Doctor – sorry,” she said as his eye caught hers, “the _other_ Doctor said to a woman neither of us is ever likely to see again?”

“I’ll tell you later, I promise. Now, do you want me t—”

“Get on with it!” Rose’s temper was starting to grow thin.

For some reason that she couldn’t fathom, her testy reply made the duplicate Doctor smile. The smile carried on into his voice as he started to speak.

“He said: ‘if they get back in touch… if you speak to Rose… tell her… tell her that I—’”

He looked at Rose. She had her eyes tightly shut, and he could see her lips moving silently. The smile left his voice as he allowed his duplicate’s memory to wash over him, so when he spoke next his tone was an exact replica of the original.

“‘Oh, she _knows_.’”

Rose said nothing, but the duplicate Doctor saw her bite her lip and saw a tear escape from her left eye and slide down her cheek.

“He loves you, you know. Loves you so much that it frightens him, makes him wonder what he would do in order to protect you. Makes him wonder whether he is strong enough to have to choose between your life and the existence of a planet — and be able to choose the planet.”

Rose said nothing to that. Just stood there, eyes wide and mouth slightly open, appearing to be trying to assimilate everything he was telling her, but struggling under the effort. And yet there was so much more he needed to tell her, so much she needed to understand, and time was running out. He knew his Time Lord self would spin out the time allowed as far as possible, but even he was helpless to stop its progress. He sucked in a breath, not willing to test how much of him was human, not just yet, and started in again.

“How much more evidence do you need, Rose? This man didn’t give the Wire a first chance, let alone a second, because it had hurt _you_. He was a man who was destroyed by losing you – who turned himself into a human for three months so to have a respite from the endless, aching agony. _Agony_ , Rose.”

“I – I – I never thought he’d hurt that badly,” Rose stammered out. “I thought I’d be just another in that long, long list of companions. That he’d be sad for a while, maybe, but he’d get over it and move on.”

“Is that what _you_ did?” he asked her. “No, don’t answer that. I think the fact you’re here at all is answer enough for that one.”

He saw Rose nod.

“Exactly. But, in answer to your question – yes, I know you didn’t ask me anything, but you didn’t really have to, did you? – no. He couldn’t let you go. I don’t think he can, even now – even if I _do_ have my suspicions about what he’s going to try to do.”

“He’s going to leave us behind, isn’t he?” The pain in her voice made him wince, and he wanted to smack his Time Lord self very hard indeed. But his voice was empty of all except a deep, deep pity when he replied.

“I think he’ll _try_ , yes. But I’m telling you everything I can think of to give you a chance at forestalling it and second-guessing him. If that’s what you _want_ , of course.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” The suspicion returned to Rose’s tone. “What’s in it for you?”

A certain amount of frustration entered his tone at this point, aimed specifically at her.

“What’s in it for me? Honestly, Rose, have you not listened to a word I’ve said? I’m trying to stop the other me from doing something he’ll regret for a bloody long time, and you’re asking what’s in it for _me_?”

“You said he’s in love with me.”

“That, Rose, is because he _is_. Any fool could see that.”

“ _Oi_!”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do. What I _don’t_ know, and would very much like to, is if you’re him and he’s you why you don’t want me to stay with you. You can see why that would make me suspicious, can’t you?”

The duplicate Doctor rolled his eyes at this, even as he nodded an answer to the question.

“Yes, I understand all right. But all the same, I don’t think you understand the difference.”

“Then explain it to me so I _do_ understand.”

“So, how do I put this? Ah!” His face lit up as he hit on an idea. “Let’s put it this way: I love you. I come from _him_ , so that’s entirely unsurprising. I love you, but it’s he who’s _in_ love with you — and I haven’t the words to describe quite how deeply.”

“He’s _in love_ with me.” It wasn’t a question.

“ _Yes_. Now do you see why I’m telling you all this?”

She nodded, seemingly shell-shocked at the confirmation of something that she had suspected for a very long time.

“And you’re him, so you know what you’re talking about,” she said, in a tone that matched the dazed look on her face.

“Yes.”

“But why won’t he _tell_ me? Is he frightened I don’t love him back? Because I can tell him – you – right now that _that’s_ not true.”

“No. He knows you love him – didn’t you tell him, on that beach in Norway? He just doesn’t believe he deserves it. After everything he’s done, after all the lives he’s ruined, he thinks he deserves to be alone. For ever.”

“‘The man who keeps running, never looking back, because he dare not, out of shame.’ Oh, Doctor. Davros has gone and done a number on you, hasn’t he?”

His duplicate didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to.

“And here he comes now,” he said, indicating his Time Lord self who was closing the TARDIS door behind him after finishing his good-byes. “Don’t let him make your decisions for you; that’s the most important piece of advice I have for you. Along with this — you’re looking at a man there who asked Daleks to kill him. Because he couldn’t bear to be in a world that didn’t have you.”

“ _What_?”

“You heard me. Now, I’m going to go and talk to your mother – because I know he’s going to want to spend this last bit of time with you. You have all the information I can give you – will you help me stop him doing something he’ll regret?”

She nodded.

“ _Fantastic_. Good luck, by the way. You’ll need it.”


End file.
